Fuck Wells Fargo

Once upon a time, I was very young. I got a job. That job asked me to get a bank so they could deposit their checks directly to me. Young, independent, and so very sure of myself I walked into a Wells Fargo. They opened a checking account for me, and everything was fine. The job didn’t last long. I counted every penny as every penny was precious.

So it was really weird when I checked my account and it was over drafted by $100 dollars. $100 dollars I had no way to pay back. Wells Fargo told me I had ten dollars. That I’d spent seven on cigarettes. I then spent twenty dollars at something called a ’treat center’. Then I’d spent two dollars for delicious beverage. I didn’t have enough money for the treat center, then I didn’t have enough money for the delicious beverage, so they’d charged me two overdraft fees for $35 buckos each. Which means I’d owed them $100 dollars. That is a lot of money for a jobless 18 year. Their story has one additional problem, I never went to a treat center.

Now, I can already hear you. “Oh suuuuure. The impulsive, irresponsible, young, 18 year old DIDN’T get treats.” And, I mean, yeah. Okay. That’s fair. I do love treats. Even today. But I swear to you. I did not enter an establishment called the treat center, and I have never received a single treat in my entire life. So I did what any level headed, mature teenager would do.

I went in person to the receptionist and asked her just what in the fuck they thought they were doing. They opened a fraud case. They said they’d investigate the charge, and get back to me in a few weeks. I told them to go fuck themselves and close my account. Then I walked across the street to a credit union and have never had an issue since.

A few weeks later Wells Fargo sent me a letter saying they removed the charges and the late fees. But I’d already moved on from the relationship to my hotter, more sexy, credit union.

The thing is, every time I see their commercials or their banks on the side of the road I’m filled with rage. The implication that I recklessly went in for twenty dollars of treats when I knew I didn’t have the money. And then! And then they had the audacity to charge me over SEVENTY DOLLARS for those twenty dollars of treats. Even if I had overspent how the fuck are you going to charge me $70 dollars for not having $20? Like, where do you think that money is going to come from?

It was just then that I’d learned an important lesson: It’s expensive to be poor.

I’d learned another lesson too: Telling a company to fuck all the way off feels really, really good.

The thing is, people must still bank with these assholes. Which is incredible. Every time I see them in the news I wonder how these assholes are still in business. This article from NPR reports Wells Fargo agreed to pay $3.7 billion dollars because they did shit things. One of the shit things they did? “Improper overdraft fees”. How this company is still in business is beyond me.